A Dialogue with Dianna: Tuning into the Hidden Story in Conversations

This event has passed. Watch the recording below:


  • 1:47 Each of us is the hero of our own story. How do we hear our own story?
  • 4:22: What behaviors have you noticed around you that might indicate someone is feeling fearful?
  • 6:35 How people respond to fear
  • 8:17 Is there anyone that you telling yourself a story about right now who might just be frightened?
  • 10:10 Why stories are so important
  • 12:45 How to hear someone else’s story
  • 22:56 What kinds of things are people afraid of right now? What are the underlying fears?
  • 28:09 Why this matters right now


  • 29:13 My manager makes assumptions about what me and my peers are doing. How do I address this?
  • 31:07 If all we do is tell people why they are wrong in their perceptions before we even get to the conversation, they shut down and are less and less likely to share the real “whys”.
  • 33:07 How do you explore the situation when the person may not be entirely aware themselves what is driving a particular fear or cannot name the fear?
  • 36:56 How to change a story if someone has a story about you
  • 39:38 How do we deal with clients when they close off choices or have very few choices?
  • 42:03 I have a tenured employee who doesn’t want to be coached. What do I do?
  • 47:00 Conclusion

Dialogue Description

Whatever people do—or don’t do—it makes perfect sense to them. However, it doesn’t always make perfect sense to others. Many of us are in the habit of making up our own stories to explain what we observe—and then judging others based on that story. Working remotely is only making this situation worse (and more damaging) as people use fewer details to tell themselves bigger stories, often resulting in greater disconnects.

While stories can separate us, they can also become powerful tools for building new, shared, meaningful connections. We can’t begin to write new stories until we have an understanding and appreciation for the current one.

In this dialogue, Cylient CEO Dianna Anderson discusses:

  • Why exploring the hidden story behind your observations is so important right now
  • Tips on how to uncover the hidden story in conversations
  • What to do if you’re caught creating stories for other people
  • How to invite people consider a story that opens up new possibilities

Dialogue: How to Become Friends with Fear

Watch the next dialogue, “How to Become Friends with Fear” by clicking this link.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Let's have a conversation.

Book a conversation to learn how Cylient can help you and your team to take a coaching approach to instilling a coaching culture in your organization.